I am in my final three months in Panama. I’m feeling a lot of mixed emotions; recently, I’ve been burnt-out and tired of being here. I’m struggling with finding motivation to continue moving projects forward. I am working to push a recycling project across the finish line in the school. We have put four tanks outside but we’re waiting to finish a second structure and put up signs. As well, I’m tired of making many decisions. Each week, we make a step forward.
We assigned the older students to present information about recycling and investigate a specific material to the younger students. The high school and middle school students researched material properties from aluminum cans, plastic bottles, cardboard, and white paper. Julio, the biology professor, had the idea to pair the oldest students with the youngest and this worked out very well. I remember being in elementary school and looking up to the older students. We want to create awareness around the environment and how we can take action to protect the planet. I’m hoping this project creates an opportunity for the students to take responsibility and see that their actions can have positive effects.
On Saturday, I went to the Parque Internacional La Amistad that spans across Panama and Costa Rica. We saw the infamous quetzal, monkeys, and other vibrant birds. Being here with such a lush amount of wildlife makes me reflect on new hobbies in birding and farming. The abundance of crops that are produced here inspires me to have a garden.
What has been a good source of energy are the softball games that I’ve participated in. Almost exactly a year ago, I went to a softball game in a nearby town and from there I found myself interested in being a part of the team. It was definitely not easy, but it’s been super fun and rewarding. I didn’t know the rules on how to steal bases or the terminology in Spanish. I wanted to prove myself to this group of strong and competitive women with my ability to play. Yesterday, we had a championship tournament of the league that we’ve been playing in for the past few months. My goal was to have fun and be present which has been hard for me here. But, I think I nailed both of those. I played in the second game on second base. I was quite nervous and wanted to contribute to the team. The last two championships, we lost but we stuck through the practices and improved a lot.
I’m trying to start to process the past two years. Moments like yesterday when we’re parading through the town at night chanting that we won the championship makes me reflect on how far I’ve come. I came here with an intermediate level of Spanish and absolutely no knowledge of Panamanian culture. Yesterday, I thought “wow, this is really cool to complete this journey I set out on knowing absolutely nothing.” To integrate into a foreign town with different traditions and customs is a very unique challenge. I heard a quote along the lines of “it’s a privilege to be able to fulfill a dream you had previously.”
I’m very grateful to have had the opportunity to join the Peace Corps and experience life at a different rhythm. I’ve become more confident in who I am and my identity. I also have a different perspective on life, relationships, and community than when I came here. I’m at a place in my service where I want to celebrate what I’ve been able to accomplish here. As volunteers, we won’t be able to see a big junk of our work “come to fruition” because we’re here to create friendships and prompt peace through intercultural relationships. I observe the kids here and they are the true heroes that inspire me and give me hope that our future will be in good hands. Although, I still have two and a half months, I’m soaking up more of the day-to-day interactions that I have here.