I can’t really describe how I’m feeling because my mood changes every day. I never know how I’m going to wake up feeling. This has been a really hard challenge for me. In the beginning of February, I was watching the news too much and it was affecting me negatively. I still miss my family greatly; luckily, we talk almost every day.
On a very positive note, I was able to plan and teach technology and English classes. This was a big learning curve for me. I’ve never taught English nor tech classes so I was learning as I went. The woman that works in the infoplaza is my main counterpart here. She helps me tremendously and understands the value in education for the youth, especially during the summertime when they aren’t in school. At the beginning, I really did not enjoy teaching English; I didn’t know where to start, how to manage the different levels between kids, and it was very taxing on me mentally. I used a Peace Corps workbook that had lesson plans, but I learned that the best way to get the kids to participate was through dynamicas (games / icebreakers). It was really special to see the kids grasp concepts such as verbs, family, and pronouns. As for the tech classes, we helped kids get more familiar with Canva, Word, Excel, and Google Forms. Many kids don’t know simple tasks such as copy and paste, highlighting, or typing on a computer. We did our best to hammer these small skills in our workshops while also incorporating themes of dreams, hobbies, and self-expression.
Backtracking to January, I had IST (In Service Training) in Panama City with my cohort. I went a few days early and my friend Mya came to visit me for 36 hours. She was traveling in Costa Rica for two weeks and popped over to see me which was really sweet. Being in the city was overwhelming with tons of people but also nice to relax and eat really good food. With my cohort, we went to visit a volunteer in Veraguas to help out with digital literacy workshops.
I guess I’m stumped. Earlier this week, I was really struggling with the lack of routine I have here. I’ve created a reputation for myself as the girl that doesn’t know how to cook. With my host-mom in Boston, I’ve been cooking for myself and it has been so much harder than I thought. At one point, I was eating PB&Js for dinner. I have access to a lot of vegetables and rice. I just realized that I bought a lot of pre-made meals in college. It’s a good opportunity for me to get better at cooking but, for some reason, I’m just being stubborn about it. I’m trying to make friends to help teach me to cook.
The heat here is so hot. Most people are in their houses until the late afternoon when it gets cooler. I try to visit neighbors during the day but then I arrive drenched in sweat and wanting to take a nap. I enjoy playing with kids in the park. We like to throw a frisbee, play volleyball and soccer. I definitely still feel out of my element here, but I’m getting more used to the discomfort. The school year is about to start in a week; I presented myself in front of the teachers on Wednesday and I was so stressed. Most people still don’t know who I am or what I’m doing here so I wanted to re-introduce myself to the teachers in the school. I created a small presentation that I presented and I’m really proud that I did that. It wasn’t perfect by any means and I was so scared, but I followed through with what I wanted to do.
As much as the challenges I have here, I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m learning to ask for help which is really hard for me to do as I like to be a very independent person. I’m slowly allowing things to happen naturally instead of forcing them. This experience is far from a fantasy but I’m forming strong relationships, in particular with the grandkids, that are making me a better person.