Wow, a lot has happened in the past month. School started which has been helping me create structure in my days! I was initially very nervous for school; it’s hard to describe because most people, students and teachers don’t know what I can help with. I don’t have a strict schedule for when I go to school or what I do. The whole goal of the Peace Corps is to learn from the community and the school what help they want. Their ideas propel projects, but that’s been very abstract for people. I think they’re skeptical of me, especially seeing a foreigner provide free services without anything in exchange. The school has been and still is super uncomfortable for me. I’m slowly getting to know students and teachers better.
Luckily, on the first day of school, a new special education teacher pulled me aside to help change the language on her computer from English to Spanish. I hit it off with two new special education teachers. They moved across the country to teach, so they understand how hard it is to live far away from their families; they are very compassionate and empathetic people. I’m very grateful to have been able to create a small community with them. The school has two turns: morning and afternoon.
The morning turn is for the elementary students and the afternoon is for middle and high school. The school turns are only five hours which is very short compared to the US. Virma is the teacher that works with students in the morning and Yari works with students in the afternoon. I help students with their English and guide them to use a computer to search images for their homework. Recently, I’ve been splitting my mornings with special ed students with writing, counting, and reading vowels. Then, I’ll go help the English teacher.
I’ve observed a lot in school and it’s hard. There is a big spread of inequalities that are so concentrated in one school. Some students have a good amount of resources and support from their parents to succeed in their academics. While others really struggle with the basics. Some kids get held back because they fail a class or just aren’t progressing well. I met a 16 year old who is in third grade. I was so shocked and saddened to find this out. To better understand the situation, my town is majority latino with about 20-30% indigenous people living on the outskirts. I learned that the coffee cosecha (harvest) is between August-October and many indigenous families take their children out of school to help with the cosecha which can lead to students failing their classes. From what I’ve seen and heard, many indigenous students struggle with advancing in their grades. They already start at a disadvantage of resources and each year gets harder to keep up. I don’t want to generalize and create a stereotype for all indigenous students because there are students that want to overcome their challenges, who are very intelligent and want to apply themselves to learn.
The English classes are just a complete mess. The kids are screaming and bothering each other. They don’t raise their hands, but rather shout every thought they have. I appreciate the English teacher, Nuvia. She is very understanding of the students’ challenges and wants to help them on an individual basis but it’s just stacked up against her and the students when they don’t behave well. I really struggle with finding a solid initiative I can help out in the school with. One teacher wants to do a lot of projects such as recycling bins and a butterfly pavilion but there haven’t been any concrete actions taken to start.
Last year, we started creating a school website. It worked really well in Google Sites, but students were using their personal accounts. A teacher thought it would be better to re-create the website under Microsoft Sharepoint or Powerpages so that the students can use their institutional email. It makes sense and we started going down the Sharepoint road but it was just not user friendly. We haven’t worked on the website recently. I’m no longer pushing the project as heavily as before because I see how this could introduce more inequalities for students. Most students don’t have computers or the internet in their houses. Some students walk hours to get to school or the nearest bus stop. I don’t want to make school even more inaccessible to them. So, I’m torn in the best way I can help in the school. I’ve been wanting to start a robotics club with another teacher in the morning. I asked him if we could work together. Another unknown is that the teacher union is going on strike against the Panamanian government because they took away good benefits and retirement pensions. The teachers went on a 48 hour strike last week and announced an indefinite strike starting next Wednesday :/ It’s a big bummer because the students are the ones who miss out on their education.
I see school as a safe place for a lot of students. Kids have to grow up too fast here. Many parents start working early in the mornings until the evening, away from the house all day. Young girls and boys have to learn to cook for themselves and take care of the house while their parents are working. Alimentation is another challenge for kids. I see many students in hunger during the day; thankfully, the special ed class has milk boxes and crackers for snacks. If kids are hungry, no wonder they’re struggling to pay attention to their classes.
I’m realizing that I am building community here. One of my biggest challenges is letting my fear stop me from doing things. It’s a challenge every day to show my face to new people and be ok with the discomfort. It’s the language, the culture, the awkwardness that just exhausts my energy so fast. There are few people that I have confianza (confidence / trust) with and I don’t feel judged but rather free to make mistakes and express myself more.
Another big win was that I was able to help with a Courts4Kids project. Hannah and Mathew were two volunteers close to me who had to return to the US early but their project to create a basketball court for their community continued! I spent hours in the sun lifting buckets full of heavy sand and water to pour the concrete. I found it very inspiring that Hannah and Mathew were able to create such strong connections with their community members and carry out many wonderful projects. I get excited with the projects I may work on but it’s hard and frustrating when I don’t exactly know what they could look like. I’ve been thinking of ideas: trash pick up, robotics, digital literacy, art… but I really need the help from a community member to collaborate with. I have to get more creative.
As I write this, I’m counting down the hours until I get on a plan back to Denver. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my family or been in the US. Leading up to planning my visit back, I was super nervous on just being back in the US and the idea of noting coming back to Panama really scared me. On Monday, I woke up really excited to see everyone and be myself 100%. I’ve grown a lot here and I’ve seen a lot that has changed my perspective on just about everything. I realized that I want to seek out the two years here. I have more to give to the community, to my relationships, and to myself. I’m looking forward to a needed recharge in Boulder and then come back with more life in me.